"The time has come," the dolphin said...

 Yes, I'm aware it's really 'walrus,' but have modified Lewis Carroll for my purposes today, as I'll be telling you The Story Of How Persephone Was Molested By a Dolphin On Her Honeymoon, pictures included.   Here you go, mugglechump, this is the whole sordid story.

( There's dolphin porn under the cut. I'm serious! This is not for the weak of heart. )

So that's why I'm not a fan.  Surely you can understand?