persephone33 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
persephone33) wrote2007-08-16 09:15 am
persephone33) wrote2007-08-16 09:15 am
Entry tags:
"Yet sadly, accidental rudeness occurs alarmingly often."
I'm going to rant a bit. I feel I should I should warn you ahead of time.
In my travels about the country in the past week, I've noticed that good manners in the American culture are slipping. No, not even slipping. Horribly absent. I'm not even talking about using the wrong fork here, folks, but things that should be second nature, and aren't. It seems that in this "me" society, that no one thinks of others before themselves. What has happened to please and thank you? (I've trained my husband now. He didn't bother with it when we were first married.) Those are the barest essential elements of good manners and it appears that it has become passe to use even those niceties. Don't even get me started about chivalry, or the people in the airport barrelling over you with not even an apology thrown over their shoulder as they race to another gate. Opening the doors for other people? Helping someone struggling with a load? It might be a little more prevalent in the south of the United states, but not much.
Due to the training I've been giving my own sons, the qualities in them that I'm trying to make second nature to them, I've noticed that, aside from their father, they don't have very many good role models in men. Their little friends don't open the doors for their mother, they don't help unload groceries from the car, and they have attrocious table manners.
Table manners! Good heavens above! I know formal American table manners, like where to put your knife and fork when you're finished eating to signal the waiter that you've finished your meal, as well my way around a place setting, but I'm talking the basics. For children, for adults, for everyone. Put your napkin in your lap. Close your mouth when you chew. Don't talk with food in your mouth. Sit up straight (Posture. Don't even get me started.) and bring the food to your mouth, don't hunch over your plate like someone might take it from you. Keep your elbows off the table. Don't salt the food without tasting it first. You do not belch, burp, or anything worse at the dinner table. EVER. Don't begin eating before the host does, unless directed otherwise. When someone asks you to pass the salt, you pass it hand to hand, down the table, and you do not hold it hostage and use it first before passing it. (This is a pet peeve of mine.) Blot with a napkin, don't smear.
I'm not going to go in to how to eat soup, because we'd be here all day.
In short, having good manners nowadays sometimes means putting up with someone else's bad manners. But, if people were more aware of others and their feelings, it might come more naturally. Think of someone else first, for a change. And for heaven's sake, chew with your mouth closed.
In my travels about the country in the past week, I've noticed that good manners in the American culture are slipping. No, not even slipping. Horribly absent. I'm not even talking about using the wrong fork here, folks, but things that should be second nature, and aren't. It seems that in this "me" society, that no one thinks of others before themselves. What has happened to please and thank you? (I've trained my husband now. He didn't bother with it when we were first married.) Those are the barest essential elements of good manners and it appears that it has become passe to use even those niceties. Don't even get me started about chivalry, or the people in the airport barrelling over you with not even an apology thrown over their shoulder as they race to another gate. Opening the doors for other people? Helping someone struggling with a load? It might be a little more prevalent in the south of the United states, but not much.
Due to the training I've been giving my own sons, the qualities in them that I'm trying to make second nature to them, I've noticed that, aside from their father, they don't have very many good role models in men. Their little friends don't open the doors for their mother, they don't help unload groceries from the car, and they have attrocious table manners.
Table manners! Good heavens above! I know formal American table manners, like where to put your knife and fork when you're finished eating to signal the waiter that you've finished your meal, as well my way around a place setting, but I'm talking the basics. For children, for adults, for everyone. Put your napkin in your lap. Close your mouth when you chew. Don't talk with food in your mouth. Sit up straight (Posture. Don't even get me started.) and bring the food to your mouth, don't hunch over your plate like someone might take it from you. Keep your elbows off the table. Don't salt the food without tasting it first. You do not belch, burp, or anything worse at the dinner table. EVER. Don't begin eating before the host does, unless directed otherwise. When someone asks you to pass the salt, you pass it hand to hand, down the table, and you do not hold it hostage and use it first before passing it. (This is a pet peeve of mine.) Blot with a napkin, don't smear.
I'm not going to go in to how to eat soup, because we'd be here all day.
In short, having good manners nowadays sometimes means putting up with someone else's bad manners. But, if people were more aware of others and their feelings, it might come more naturally. Think of someone else first, for a change. And for heaven's sake, chew with your mouth closed.
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-is a neanderthal-
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My father and brother, both, don't use just ... general manners though. =/ When I'm
being forced outgoing out with them I usually have to talk to the person or whoever they're talking to just so I can clarify what they want and add a couple of 'pleases' and 'thanks's in there. It's really embarrassing.no subject
Re: -is a neanderthal-
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But when he eats, he often tries to talk, like what he has to say just can't wait 30 seconds. Of course, no one can understand him, so I'll say, "Finish that first and then tell me." He also tends to 'smack' his food noisily, which really gets on my nerves. I don't think he even knows he does it! He has a hearing problem, so maybe he can't hear it and doesn't think anyone else can either(?). Luckily, restaurants are so loud these days, I usually don't hear it when we're eating out - but at home, it's a bit disgusting.
P.S. I recently read that 'No problem' is not a good substitute for 'You're welcome' because it basically means, "I didn't have to put myself out on your behalf." ^_^ When I thought of it like that, I decided to stop saying it.
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In other news, I'm re-reading Mala Fide, before embarking on the beta - I printed it out so I could take it to the pool. Do you have any idea how thick that sucker is? It's impressive, I'll tell you that. I'm halfway through, so It shouldn't be too much longer. :)
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"Where do you want to eat?"
"I don't care."
He thought it was very rude to express such disinterest in your plans and the people with whom you are spending time. Ever since then I've tried to respond to that sort of question with 'Anywhere is fine with me', 'I don't have a preference', or something similar.
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Ooh, a fic of mine is 'pool-side reading'! ;)
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Being around the pool deck so often, you see so many
neandrathalsswimmers hunched so far over it's ridiculous. They claim that their lats are too big to stand straight but they should at least make the effort! They look like 90 year old grannies with osteoporosis.no subject
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Sort of related but not really, but when I was in Australia, I'd always say "sure" instead of "ok" or "yes" but they thought I meant I was "unsure" and would get really confused, thinking I was disinterested in what they were doing or where we were going. I felt really bad after we sorted that out!
guilt
(Anonymous) 2007-08-16 05:08 pm (UTC)(link)no subject
It's grosssssssssssssssssssssss. D8
Re: guilt
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Dr. Who is officially on my netflix queue. :)
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My battery died the other day in the University parking lot. I had my own jumper cables, asked two people and neither one would jump my battery. Finally, after I had called AAA, someone drove over to me and offered.
So yes, there are definitely rude, rude people out there, but at least there are a few nice ones left. Ones whose mom taught them manners. :)
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And my nose won't even look better to prove I went through all of this! Sad. At least plastic surgery has a visible outcome.
Doctor Who is so amazing. I'm watching it again actually right now. Jennifer Perrone is back in town and she's my excuse for seeing them again. She cried at the first season finale, so be warned.
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But what MAY be just a LITTLE BIT ruder than that is spotting an unlocked car in a driveway at four in the morning and deciding that it would be a splendid idea to open it up and steal the entire middle console, including the 15-20 CDs that were inside it.
RUDE PEOPLE SUCK SO MUCH LASDHKAWYIQHWKDNA!
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