It causes an odd sort of guilty feeling to laugh so hard while reading about your War on a Grand Scale. /really bad pun You're funny, though, so I can't really help it. I do sympathize. My bathroom scale taunted me with smaller numbers and then jacked them up on me all of a sudden with stupid
comments like 'do you really need to finish the Haagen Daaz in two days' and 'maybe you could lay off the venti Cinnamon Dolce lattes'.

My friend Pam says that squirrels are just rats who figured out if they grew a bushy tail people would think they're cute.