I completely and utterly sympathize with you. I've had my own run-ins with grasshoppers and can personally contest that they are completely creepy (when I was in South Africa this summer, watching the sun rise over the Indian ocean, lost in this stunning purple and pink vision of nature, I reached out to put my hand on the railing - so as not to fall into the ocean - and, there, less than a few centimeters away from my hand, was a LOCTUS. Which looks exactly like a grasshopper, but about three times the size and scary as hell - believe, I sympathize)