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I have two stories for you. The first informs the second.
Story One:
(Carrie and Nolan are in the kitchen and Aaron comes in and joins them after his shower. He's wearing boxers, has damp hair and is shivering.)
Carrie. Why aren't you wearing clothes?
Aaron. Because I'm about to go to bed.
Carrie. I mean pajamas. (Aaron shrugs. Carrie decides to choose her battles.) Did you brush your teeth?
Aaron. Yes. (breathes in Carrie's face.) See?
Carrie. (blinks several times) Yes, thank you. (As he turns to go, she stops him) Aaron? Are those the same boxer shorts you were wearing yesterday?
Aaron. (snaps the waistband, is matter-of-fact) Yep.
Carrie. (looks at Nolan for a little solidarity) Do you have clean boxer shorts upstairs?
Aaron. Yes, ma'am.
Carrie. You don't put dirty underwear on a clean body. You have to wear clean underwear every day.
Aaron. (is floored by this news and very skeptical) Really?
Nolan. Yes. Your mother speaks the truth.
Aaron. (sighs heavily, is thwarted) Okay.
Story Two:
The second story is an exchange of emails between Carrie and Nolan yesterday morning. BEFORE NINE A.M...
From: Carrie Leigh
Sent: Wednesday, January 05, 2011 8:15 AM
To: Nolan
Subject: SPAM-LOW: So... Here's the dealio... Read this when you have time.
I'M SO PISSED I CAN'T SEE STRAIGHT. Can't even call you. Can't talk. Grrrrr.
Ethan comes to me this morning and says, "I need money for lunch."
I go, "Whahuh? I put a crapload of money in your account at the beginning of the year." Three hundred dollars, if memory serves.
I asked him if he'd been eating off the snack bar, and he said, "I'm not going to lie. Yes."
I asked, "Even though I SPECIFICALLY told you not to?"
"Yes."
So. What's a parent to do? I made him make his lunch, which isn't a punishment, by the way, they LIKE taking their lunch. Basically, instead of the school lunch, which costs $2, he's been eating from the "snack bar" which is $3-$3.50 DAILY. He's been eating stuff like cheese curly fries and Gatorades for lunch.
The thing is, I did the same thing. Except my mother gave me $1.10 for my lunch two or three times a week for lunch, and I took mine the rest of the time, and if I wanted curly fries, I paid the difference out of my own pocket.
If you're interested in the link to see all the crap he's been buying - including ice cream at LEAST once a week, go HERE. My username is carrie*****, and the password is *******.
Notice that AJ has $120.50, and Ethan has -$2.35. I made Ethan pay the negative difference out of his own pocket. And Aaron's lunch is $1.75. I'll leave the math of the actual difference up to you.
He didn't lie. But he DID disobey. I don't know what to do.
I LOATHE when they disobey. I hate it. I'm so angry. I didn't spank him because I was SO angry. But I'm literally in tears now because he's blown over a hundred dollars on CRAP. I DON'T WANT HIM EATING THAT EVERY DAY. I WANT HIM TO HAVE THE LUNCH THE SCHOOL PROVIDES. Once a week? I'd be okay with the snack bar. I'm not so rigid that I can't bend. BUT IT CANNOT BE THREE AND FOUR TIMES A WEEK!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Am I overreacting? And will you weigh in on this?
I love you.
Carrie
from: Nolan
to: Carrie Leigh
date: Wed, Jan 5, 2011 at 8:45 AM
subject RE: SPAM-LOW: So... Here's the dealio... Read this when you have time.
NO, you are not overreacting and I am totally on board and we can punish him when I get home. Ironically, this is exactly how I feel every time I see the credit card bill or a transfer of money from our accounts…EVERY TIME. It’s money being spent on garbage that he doesn’t (we don’t) need. I’m just saying. You can’t say one thing and do another. They watch us like hawks. Cute little hawks who wear the same underwear as many days in a row as they can, but hawks none the less.
I also think HE should have to make his own lunch every evening after supper so we can monitor that it gets done and you also know what he’s eating. He’ll carry his lunch each day until the end of school. I’ll even go buy him a Strawberry Shortcake lunch box so he has to be seen with it if you want? Next year we can start it all over and see if he does better. Like you said, if he asks once in a while for an ice cream or curly fries it’s not a big deal. It’s a treat. But when you specifically tell him and he disobeys, TOUGH. This will show him that there are consequences to his actions.
“I’m not going to lie. Yes.” Pfft. As if that makes it alright and clears the slate? Good try, though. I won’t encourage him, but he sure is independent. Hee, hee. You’ll like that later on in him.
I love you.
Nolan
So. It turns out, AJ was doing the same thing, buying ice cream and slushes as often as he could. They're both grounded. Ethan's taking his lunch for the rest of the year. Is that a punishment for me, too? Yes, it is. No, I didn't actually say 'crapload' to the kid. And no, we aren't making him take a Strawberry Shortcake lunchbox. It was a close call, though.
That's all the news that's fit to report. Be back soon, though, I'm sure.
And for the cherry on the cake of my day, I've been up since four thirty, and Ethan, Aaron and I are off to the dentist.
Story One:
(Carrie and Nolan are in the kitchen and Aaron comes in and joins them after his shower. He's wearing boxers, has damp hair and is shivering.)
Carrie. Why aren't you wearing clothes?
Aaron. Because I'm about to go to bed.
Carrie. I mean pajamas. (Aaron shrugs. Carrie decides to choose her battles.) Did you brush your teeth?
Aaron. Yes. (breathes in Carrie's face.) See?
Carrie. (blinks several times) Yes, thank you. (As he turns to go, she stops him) Aaron? Are those the same boxer shorts you were wearing yesterday?
Aaron. (snaps the waistband, is matter-of-fact) Yep.
Carrie. (looks at Nolan for a little solidarity) Do you have clean boxer shorts upstairs?
Aaron. Yes, ma'am.
Carrie. You don't put dirty underwear on a clean body. You have to wear clean underwear every day.
Aaron. (is floored by this news and very skeptical) Really?
Nolan. Yes. Your mother speaks the truth.
Aaron. (sighs heavily, is thwarted) Okay.
Story Two:
The second story is an exchange of emails between Carrie and Nolan yesterday morning. BEFORE NINE A.M...
From: Carrie Leigh
Sent: Wednesday, January 05, 2011 8:15 AM
To: Nolan
Subject: SPAM-LOW: So... Here's the dealio... Read this when you have time.
I'M SO PISSED I CAN'T SEE STRAIGHT. Can't even call you. Can't talk. Grrrrr.
Ethan comes to me this morning and says, "I need money for lunch."
I go, "Whahuh? I put a crapload of money in your account at the beginning of the year." Three hundred dollars, if memory serves.
I asked him if he'd been eating off the snack bar, and he said, "I'm not going to lie. Yes."
I asked, "Even though I SPECIFICALLY told you not to?"
"Yes."
So. What's a parent to do? I made him make his lunch, which isn't a punishment, by the way, they LIKE taking their lunch. Basically, instead of the school lunch, which costs $2, he's been eating from the "snack bar" which is $3-$3.50 DAILY. He's been eating stuff like cheese curly fries and Gatorades for lunch.
The thing is, I did the same thing. Except my mother gave me $1.10 for my lunch two or three times a week for lunch, and I took mine the rest of the time, and if I wanted curly fries, I paid the difference out of my own pocket.
If you're interested in the link to see all the crap he's been buying - including ice cream at LEAST once a week, go HERE. My username is carrie*****, and the password is *******.
Notice that AJ has $120.50, and Ethan has -$2.35. I made Ethan pay the negative difference out of his own pocket. And Aaron's lunch is $1.75. I'll leave the math of the actual difference up to you.
He didn't lie. But he DID disobey. I don't know what to do.
I LOATHE when they disobey. I hate it. I'm so angry. I didn't spank him because I was SO angry. But I'm literally in tears now because he's blown over a hundred dollars on CRAP. I DON'T WANT HIM EATING THAT EVERY DAY. I WANT HIM TO HAVE THE LUNCH THE SCHOOL PROVIDES. Once a week? I'd be okay with the snack bar. I'm not so rigid that I can't bend. BUT IT CANNOT BE THREE AND FOUR TIMES A WEEK!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Am I overreacting? And will you weigh in on this?
I love you.
Carrie
from: Nolan
to: Carrie Leigh
date: Wed, Jan 5, 2011 at 8:45 AM
subject RE: SPAM-LOW: So... Here's the dealio... Read this when you have time.
NO, you are not overreacting and I am totally on board and we can punish him when I get home. Ironically, this is exactly how I feel every time I see the credit card bill or a transfer of money from our accounts…EVERY TIME. It’s money being spent on garbage that he doesn’t (we don’t) need. I’m just saying. You can’t say one thing and do another. They watch us like hawks. Cute little hawks who wear the same underwear as many days in a row as they can, but hawks none the less.
I also think HE should have to make his own lunch every evening after supper so we can monitor that it gets done and you also know what he’s eating. He’ll carry his lunch each day until the end of school. I’ll even go buy him a Strawberry Shortcake lunch box so he has to be seen with it if you want? Next year we can start it all over and see if he does better. Like you said, if he asks once in a while for an ice cream or curly fries it’s not a big deal. It’s a treat. But when you specifically tell him and he disobeys, TOUGH. This will show him that there are consequences to his actions.
“I’m not going to lie. Yes.” Pfft. As if that makes it alright and clears the slate? Good try, though. I won’t encourage him, but he sure is independent. Hee, hee. You’ll like that later on in him.
I love you.
Nolan
So. It turns out, AJ was doing the same thing, buying ice cream and slushes as often as he could. They're both grounded. Ethan's taking his lunch for the rest of the year. Is that a punishment for me, too? Yes, it is. No, I didn't actually say 'crapload' to the kid. And no, we aren't making him take a Strawberry Shortcake lunchbox. It was a close call, though.
That's all the news that's fit to report. Be back soon, though, I'm sure.
And for the cherry on the cake of my day, I've been up since four thirty, and Ethan, Aaron and I are off to the dentist.
