persephone33

...That's not to be confused with a blog about cornucopias, which would just be boring.

( A cute kid story, one of my neuroses, a Victorian costume slideshow and a callback, all wrapped up in one tight little blog. )

(Children are eating breakfast - Cocoa Puffs - because Carrie has given up on foods with nutritional value for her offspring until school starts. During this, children are also playing Harry Potter Lego for the X-Box 360)

Aaron. Cool. Look, I can turn into Filch's cat.

Carrie. (glances at screen) Mrs. Norris? Why do you want to turn into Mrs. Norris?

Aaron. I dunno. She's mean? She's a cat. (shrugs) It's a video game, mom.

Ethan. (puts his controller down, scrutinizes his mother) How do you know Filch's cat is named Mrs. Norris? How do you KNOW stuff like that?

Carrie. (has flashback to Bridget Jones' Diary - how does she know? She knows just as one knows their times tables or ABC's - blanket knowledge) I don't know. I just do.

Ethan. (resumes play) Sometimes I think you might be dorkier than we are.

****

Drat. I've been found out.

I really was hoping for a few more years.

The boys have been learning the value of a dollar lately, and ever since the Easter bunny hid eggs with coins in them, have been counting and re-counting and hoarding like little misers. They decided that the first thing on which they were going to spend their egg-gotten gains was Star Wars III for the X-Box 360. I'm all about those little Lego characters, so I deigned to take them to Wal-Mart (I temporarily un-shunned the douche-y superstore to let the children use some gift cards that they received. It's evidently the price you pay when you love someone.)

It was agreed upon that if the total was above what the gift cards held, I'd take care of it, and they could pay me back when we got to the car, thus disregarding the need to take their empty paint can full of change into the store. It ended up being $5.74 over the gift card total.

---

(The errand run, the purchasers get back into the car. Ethan checks the receipt and hands Carrie $5.75 from the backseat. She takes it, and after a moment, she hears a throat clear discreetly in her right ear.)

Carrie. What?

Ethan. I need a penny back, please.

Carrie. (thinks about all the times she made the child meals, changed his diaper, nursed him while he was sick, washed his clothes and took him places, then opens her car ashtray, extracts a penny, and shoves it into his hot little hand.) Here.

Ethan. No offense, Mom. It's only business.

---

He's a shark. His father will be so proud.

Incidentally, third grade is when math all started going to hell for me.

But I digress.

Yesterday, Aaron needed help with number sentences. When he needs help with actual math, he goes to his father. For sentences, mom is the one. In any case, AJ came up with the problem, 16 x 20 or something, and I suggested a word problem along the lines of 'he had 16 friends and gave them each 20 pieces of candy...'

Aaron. (looks surprised) Wow, Mom. You're good at math.

Carrie. (laughs, in a self-deprecating manner) You think?

Aaron. (considers) Well, you're getting better.

Carrie. Oh, thanks, kid.

Aaron. (yells from the other room) That was a compliment!

---

It's nice to know I'm getting better. I'd hate to stagnate where I am.

★ I worry about myself.

★ I just spent about a good minute trying to remember what those orange vegetables are called... you know, the ones with the green tops that Bugs Bunny eats?

★ *headdesk*

★ When Nolan told AJ that he was 'a couple of cans short of a six pack' this weekend, Aaron lifted his shirt, looked at his tummy and replied, "I don't have a six pack. I don't even have a four pack."

★ I finished plotting out a WIP. That's so very gratifying. Wrote a drabble for hp_humpdrabbles, and sent new chapter for for editing. I'm ALL accomplished. The writing drought is officially over. Whew. Thank goodness. I was getting a little mopey about it. I'm looking around for an rpg to write for, but can't find any that need whom I'm willing to write. :)

★ I've been sewing the heck out of a strapless, sparkly dress for Kiss of the Spider Woman. I'm thinking about making one for myself (minus the sparkly, spidery vibe) for the cruise I'm going on in February.

★ We're going on a cruise in February! I CAN'T WAIT.

★ I learned that friends are still friends even when we don't talk every day.

★ The scale won't move past thirteen pounds. I'd love to have lost 20 by the time we get on the boat. Lose it! is still my BFF. Counting calories and exercising. Go figure. :P Twenty-two more pounds to go.

★ Bond girls were curvier in the sixties. For that matter, so were women in during the renaissance. When did stick thin become what everyone wanted to be?

★ I learned that friends are still friends even when we don't talk every day.

★ Nolan just pointed out that James Bond must not have had to worry about STD's. He was kind of trampy. (But hot. Er, that's MY observation, not his.)

★ I need a new camera. Like, bad.

★ What do we think of Miss Me jeans? I tried some on and yes, they look great, but a hundred and something bucks is a lot to drop on a pair of pants, you know? And certainly not til I'm in the single digits, size wise.

★ It's distressing to have principles, at times.

★ That's it. My Sunday evening roundup. Do you have any news?

Eclipse has an MPAA rating of PG-13. I knew that going into this. But the boys have watched loads of PG-13 movies without incident. Off the top of my head - The Spider-Man Franchise, for one. And I am by no means a prude. But I was wholly unprepared for this. WHERE IS MY HANDBOOK?

Anywho, parenting is an adventure.

( Are you a virgin, Mommy? )

---

In less horrifying news, my dad is here, and we're have a cool, laid back time. Love to all and happy new year, if I don't see you before.

I just found a paper in my office entitled "Top Secret Rocket Science Experiment," written in what I think is my ten year-old's handwriting.

It included a list:

1. clay
2. gas
3. mud
4. goo (?!)
5. baking soda
6. vinegar
7. sand
8. Coke
9. red food coloring
10. match
11. mini trampoline (?!)
12. wings (???)
13. cone

I'm torn between being proud that he's thinking outside the box, wondering if he's seen any Pinky and the Brain/Coyote & Road Runner cartoons and being very, very afraid.

(Carrie and the children run through the morning routine, hair combing, breakfast eating, tooth brushing, and she explains the schedule for later in the day.)

Carrie. So when you get home from school, I'll have packed your bag and I'll take you out to Grandma's and Grandpa's house for the weekend.

Ethan. (Frowns) But Dad's gone.

Carrie. (has only had a sip of coffee at this point in the morning) Mmmhm.

Ethan. If dad's gone, then who'll protect you if the zombies attack? I'm in charge of that when he's gone.

Carrie. There's going to be a zombie attack this weekend? And you're in charge of what, exactly?

Ethan. There might be a zombie attack this weekend. And I'm in charge of shooting them. You don't know how to shoot a gun.

Carrie. And you do?

Ethan. I can figure it out. If you're not protected, they'll get you.

Aaron. (Munches on toast) Makes sense.

Carrie. (under breath) None of this makes sense.

Ethan. I'll stay, just in case.

Carrie. No, pumpkin, I'll be fine.

Ethan. (Frowns) Are you sure?

Carrie. (Wishes to God for having drunk more coffee before having this conversation) Yes. Katie and Abbey (the Labrador retrievers) are here. They'll protect me.

Ethan. Katie would, but Abbey will be worthless.

Aaron. (munches on toast) That's true.

****

( Just another Friday at our house. )

&hearts - I'm glad I'm a stay at home mom. I wouldn't ever have time to do anything if I had an actual JOB to go to.

&hearts - Speaking of my job, I have 14 girls in my theatre three and four class who are going to be a LOT of fun. I'm going to do movie monologues/scenes with them, so if you have any favorite movie scenes from the silver screen (featuring two high school-aged girls, appropriate for same), please do share.

&hearts - the little old ladies were ten deep at the Clinique counter, today. I guess I'm the only girl under 60 that uses that? It was a good free gift with purchase, though. Go check it out. Oddly enough, there were no little old ladies at the MAC counter. They don't like glitter mascara and loud music? Tee hee.

&hearts - I'm bringing back the word "codswallop." Hide and watch.

( Cute kid story under the cut... )

&hearts - The boys are enrolled in Musical Theatre class at ALT. They had a good time and AJ said that their warm-up routine was to "Darn Yankees." When I questioned this, he replied, "We have to be 13 before we can say the real name of that musical." Thanks, Jason. Ensuring the innocence of the kiddos. Too bad I say worse than that on your average Tuesday.

&hearts - What. The. Hell. Why in the world would people need these? I'm sweating my ass off trying to GET my ass off, and now I find out that there are actually people that wear padded panties to make their butts huge? And that's somehow trendy? That's ASININE, if you'll forgive the pun. A load of codswallop. Please tell me who they are so that I can maybe stand next to them so that my rear end will look smaller by comparison.

&hearts - I love, and I mean LOVE blessing other people. Especially when it's something that they don't expect.

&hearts - Speaking of being blessed, I seriously hope that my breasts stay within the confines of the swimsuit that I'm wearing in South Pacific. There may be some duct tape/bailing wire rigging involved. I tried it on again today, and this time I stood in front of the mirror for a full twenty seconds before I burst into hysterical, cellulite-induced sobs. I think that's progress. I also made a sarong and matching headscarf out of gorgeous, donated, sari silk that's pretty freaking adorable, if I do say so myself. It covers most of the atrocities, so it's still safe to come see the show.

I think that's all. Have a great weekend, y'all!

We were listening to Glee - The Music "Journey to Regionals" on the way home tonight, and when we got to Any Way You Want It / Lovin' Touchin' Squeezin', Ethan, who is a HUGE Journey fan (probably because Nolan listened to Wheel in the Sky at a high decibel level while the kid was in utero) said:

E. Why are they messing up the song?

Me. It's called a mash up. They take two songs and mush them together.

E. (Curls lip and wrinkles nose) Whatever.

(Don't Stop Believing comes on, and he pipes up:)

E. They better not mash this one up.