An horrific adult story, for your Sunday morning reading pleasure.

So I'm lying in bed on this cloudy Sunday morning, feeling vaguely guilty that I'm not at church. To atone, I'm going to tell you a story. We'll see how far that gets me with God. :)

Most of you know that I'm not what you might call an 'outdoorsy' person. I believe that nature is best viewed through a pane of glass, preferably with a adult-like fruity drink in hand. And you know that I'm sideways with dolphins, believe that bunnies are up to far more than everyone thinks, and find woodland creatures on the whole to be vile and abhorrent in every way.

( It's a tale of girl vs. intruder: Carrie Style. )

I may not, though when Nolan comes back and finds that I've torn the crap out of Colin, the Sexy, Black Toyota Sequoia's running board by driving over a big ass decorative rock in the Rudy's parking lot.

It's been sort of a weekend.

But I'm pleased to announce that goeungurl, filia_umbrae, and eustacia_vye are the winner's of last month's contest. You'll be receiving your Gap cards in the mail A.S.A.P. All of your stories are fabulous, and I intend to comment at length when I have a moment to do it properly.

Everyone enjoy the rest of your weekend. May it be raccoon and zombie-free.