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So Ethan has started "Battle of the Books," whatever that is, and after dinner last night he was sitting at the bar, telling us about it, and leafing through his first book.
Ethan. I'm already on chapter 21!
Me. Fantastic!
Ethan. They're really short chapters.
Me. That's okay. What's it about?
Ethan. It's about this girl that was raised by dolphins.
Me. (head snaps up - I freeze in the middle of loading the dishwasher) What?!
Nolan. (Hearing the same thing that I heard) He said RAISED. Raised.
Me. Oh, heck, no. (grabs the book)
Ethan. Daddy, why does Mommy hate dolphins so much?
Nolan. It's a long story, son.
Carrie. (mutters) Not so much long as x- rated.
****
Sure enough, it was The Music of Dolphins, by Karen Hesse. What the crap kind of sick-o writes a book about that?! An award-winning sick-o, evidently. A critically acclaimed sick-o. You can read it online, evidently, here. Harumph.
Maybe I should just write a book about something that I hate, and I'll be a published author. Bunnies, owls, squirrels... heck, lets face it, nearly all woodland creatures. Or my terror of being buried alive (Nolan has strict orders to have me cremated), or Wal-Mart on a Friday afternoon, or the school parking lot (where I may or may not have played 'chicken' with someone this morning), or a month solid of children's birthday parties....
Or maybe, I could find a way to lump all those in the SAME book. *shudders*
Wow.
The crazy leaked out all over the place this morning, huh?
Carry on, f-list.
Ethan. I'm already on chapter 21!
Me. Fantastic!
Ethan. They're really short chapters.
Me. That's okay. What's it about?
Ethan. It's about this girl that was raised by dolphins.
Me. (head snaps up - I freeze in the middle of loading the dishwasher) What?!
Nolan. (Hearing the same thing that I heard) He said RAISED. Raised.
Me. Oh, heck, no. (grabs the book)
Ethan. Daddy, why does Mommy hate dolphins so much?
Nolan. It's a long story, son.
Carrie. (mutters) Not so much long as x- rated.
****
Sure enough, it was The Music of Dolphins, by Karen Hesse. What the crap kind of sick-o writes a book about that?! An award-winning sick-o, evidently. A critically acclaimed sick-o. You can read it online, evidently, here. Harumph.
Maybe I should just write a book about something that I hate, and I'll be a published author. Bunnies, owls, squirrels... heck, lets face it, nearly all woodland creatures. Or my terror of being buried alive (Nolan has strict orders to have me cremated), or Wal-Mart on a Friday afternoon, or the school parking lot (where I may or may not have played 'chicken' with someone this morning), or a month solid of children's birthday parties....
Or maybe, I could find a way to lump all those in the SAME book. *shudders*
Wow.
The crazy leaked out all over the place this morning, huh?
Carry on, f-list.
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You and dolphins. *snickers*
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Button?
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Btw, my male coworker noticed my cute bag the other day and commented on it. I told him a friend made it for me and said "I wish I had nice friends who made me stuff." *grins*
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That makes me smile.
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And I agree. I'm THRILLED that he's excited about reading!
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I would read that horror book - should you ever decide to write it. The shock value alone - HILARIOUS! ;D
Yay for crazy days. :D
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Validation by Dwight K. Schrute. Now I KNOW I'm crazy.
http://www.nbc.com/The_Office/video/clips/prince-family-paper-clip-one/962922/
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Re: Validation by Dwight K. Schrute. Now I KNOW I'm crazy.
I'm amused that HE validated your hatred of dolphins. LOL!
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You know, I didn't think today could get any better. The sun is shining, the snow is melting, little birdies are chirping...
And then I read this and now...now I feel like I'm at Disneyland. xD
Dolphin psychoses make me happy. Does that make me odd?
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You liking Dolphin psychoses doesn't make you any more odd than me HAVING them.
Cheers!
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I like your kind of crazy. :)
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Oh no, the school parking lot is a way scarier place than Wal-Mart. I'm so glad my kids have always walked or taken the bus. Wait till your sons have their own licenses and parking passes; then you'll really be scared.
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Also, it makes me feel really young-- that I read that book in school and now your son is, too. Granted, it was 11 years ago for me, but still. Gah!
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By the way, I'm curious: are you just not afraid of being burned alive, or is your fear of being buried alive just much stronger? :)
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I saw a Sunday afternoon matinee horror movie on television when I was twelve or so. A woman was kidnapped and buried alive, and it showed her dying, screaming, to be let out, suffocating. It was AWFUL. (Where were my parents when their child was watching this?!)
Anyway, if affected me profoundly, and I've been sort of claustrophobic ever since. I figure that if I'm burned alive, at least it will be over more quickly than the alternative.
Nolan assures me that he'll make sure I'm dead, so this won't be an issue.
*snort*
I'm aware that I'm nuts. *shrug*
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And I hope that Nolan won't be the only one checking that you're really dead. :)
Finally, I don't think you're any more nuts than the rest of us. At least not about this!