The "Care Quotient" Is Low

[persephone33]

I believe if you are given a job to do, you do it to the best of your ability.  "Don't half-ass it," was the eloquent phrase my father used to use, but let me tell you...  I'm getting sick and FREAKING tired of all the crap I'm having to do.  Assistant Director my ASS.

I've received 2 emails today telling me things that need to be changed for the show today.  "We can't use gelatin for the melted wax, we have to use pudding.  No, pudding is the wrong consistency, try yogurt.  The shirts are too clean.  Get some cream colored ones.  We need more Tea (bourbon!).  We need more Dr. Pepper (Guinness!) We need a pint of Irish Whiskey.  

No wait.  That was for me.

No it wasn't!  That's for the show, too.  Now we need a tasteless painting to hang over the mantle.  *growls*  I'm sorry, let me check my secret pocket! *pats self, Columbo-style* Nope, sorry!  Fresh out of tacky paintings!

I love theatre.  I love theatre.  I love theatre.

And I swear to whoever is listening, if they shoot that gun off one more time when they're not supposed to without letting people know what they are doing I AM GOING TO COME UNCHAINED.

And no one likes Persephone Unchained.

That's an excellent title for a story....that I may write if I don't die in the gunfire spontaneously combust before finishing this production of The Lonesome West.  They may find me final dress, huddled in the corner by the prop table, in my blacks, sucking on a tupperware container of Jameson's Irish Whiskey and ruing the day they told me that, "The Dr. Pepper was a little flat".  Because let me tell you, Persephone is just about *holds up thumb and forefinger* this far  from the edge.  You don't mess with a woman on the edge.  You just don't.

You know, there's a reason I didn't major in production. 

Okay.  I'll now send you back to your regularly scheduled fluffy bunnies and rainbows.

Comments

[lyndsiefenele.livejournal.com]

Aww! *hugs*

Just think how accomplished you'll feel when it's all over.

Or, steal the whiskey and run!

[persephone33.livejournal.com]

I vote for option "B".

[dragonsangel68.livejournal.com]

*hugs you*

Congratulations on the Podcast position *g*

[persephone33.livejournal.com]

*hugs back*

That's a bright spot this week, yay!

[numbaby.livejournal.com]

Think Evil Overlord!

Use your position to make them cower before you like so many Peter Pettigrews.

[persephone33.livejournal.com]

They're so self-involved they wouldn't even notice if I spontaneously combusted backstage and took half the theatre down with me.

[embe11ished.livejournal.com]

Wow. I would already have come unchained if I had to put up with all of that. You must be extremely patient. Or at least really, really love theatre! I hope everything gets better soon, and that the show goes well!

[persephone33.livejournal.com]

I think equal parts both. I plan on shoving all the negative emotions way, way, down so I need therapy when this is all over.

Just kidding.

Kind of.

Thanks for your sweet words.

[jandjsalmon.livejournal.com]

*hands Perse the tacky painting in my pocket*

LOL. It will all be worth it. It will all be worth it! ;)

[persephone33.livejournal.com]

*accepts painting graciously*
Why, thank you! I've been looking for one of these! How did you know?
Oh, right. Gigantic rant-y post. Sorry.

I know, I know...It will all be worth it...

[kellbellee.livejournal.com]

Wow, that takes superwoman strength to do all that! I hope it gets better for you. If not just douse them all in whiskey and coke and be done with it =)

[persephone33.livejournal.com]

And then light a match? No, no, that would be going too far. Bad Perse.

[dieloreley.livejournal.com]

I have your voice in my ear. Actually, no, I have your Draco voice in my ear.

Coming unchained might actually make them mind their manners a bit. *nods encouragingly*

[persephone33.livejournal.com]

I shall keep that in mind.

[theoriginalkat.livejournal.com]

Okay, I'm going to tell you what always works for me.

Here are the steps:

1. Go to wherever (Did I spell that right? I never know.) you need to go to get a spork (a fast food restaurant, a grocery store, your junk drawer, etc).

2. Remove the cellophane.

3. Throw the cellophane in the garbage.

4. Put the spork in your purse before you leave for the place where all the annoying people live.

5. When they piss you off, remove the spork from your purse.

6. Garnish it as a weapon.

7. Get a crazy look in your eyes, and scream, "Don't make me spork you!"

8. If the annoying people continue to annoy you, spork them repeatedly. One sporking for minor offenses, a greater number for more major offenses.

Seriously, it works.

[persephone33.livejournal.com]

That's the best advice I've had in a long time. If they piss you off, spork 'em. I love it!

[theoriginalkat.livejournal.com]

I'm telling you, it works like a charm. The people who are actually sensitive to how they make other people feel will respond by no longer irritating you. Plus, it can be laughed off as a joke by everyone that saw it, so they aren't embarrassed.

Oh, you want to know about the people who aren't sensitive to the feelings of others? Well, I suppose they would have something to say if they weren't so embarrassed about being admitted to the ER for serious spork injuries in various, artery-containing places.

[theoriginalkat.livejournal.com]

I'd also like to add another means for revenge. Spike their tea. It'd be hysterical! Make peach tea or something. Say that you didn't have anything else! Put some flavored rum in it so they'll hardly notice a thing...until they're blitzed. Take all their keys and leave them all at the theater to perish.

At the very least, you could drink the rummy tea yourself and you won't give a shit about them any longer.

[persephone33.livejournal.com]

"At the very least, you could drink the rummy tea yourself and you won't give a shit about them any longer."

I had thought about this one... tempting, tempting...