I've wondered about the strange phone calls we've been receiving lately.

I'm totally a call screener. I loathe talking on the phone normally, so I don't answer unless I really want to talk to you, or in the case of my husband, who won't be put off by not getting me on the phone; he'll just call my cell and then badger me with emails until I respond.

Love you, husband. Mean it.

Anyhow, now it all makes sense. A bail bondsman evidently is listed somewhere (newspaper? Phone book? I forgot to ask) with our home phone number. I just got a call from a very nice woman who told me that the problem is being fixed.

It makes this exchange not so weird:

(Phone rings, I uncharacteristically answer)

Me. Hello?

Caller. Yeah, I wondered how much you'd give me for my 1994 [model of] boat.

Me. Excuse me?

Caller. Do you take boats as collateral?

Me. What? I think you have the wrong number.

Caller. (swears and hangs up)

Just so you all know, I will not be coerced by any four letter words into buying any of your boats, cars, houses, etc. or loaning out any money for you or your loved ones to get out of jail. Call me selfish, but it's just not happening.

Or maybe I should just start a new career? Thoughts?
 But....

I fear the appliances in my life are conspiring against me.

Usually, I know, my conspiracy theroies are relegated to the animal kingdom, but as the bunnies and squirrels are hibernating right now, I fear that the electronic devices, or rather things with a plug, are ganging up on me, and I'm just not okay with it, thankyouverymuch.

The icemaker is broken.  Okay, not a big deal, we're moving in two months, where a brand new, spiffy, stainless steel refrigerator will await me and the twenty year old model currently in our kitchen will be relegated to the garage to hold my Diet Coke.  So I buy ice.  Done.  Inconvienient, but done.

The the Shark (dustbuster?) takes a nosedive.  Nothing.  Hangs on the wall, limp.  I have a dog & kids, so that sucker gets used a LOT.  But he's dead.  Again, not any big deal.  I can drag out the big vacuum, right?  Wrong.  It threw a belt, but seems to still be working other than that, so I'll put that on the Target list and go on.

Then the computer dies (I'll not say more, but that pain is still excruciating and I LOATHE GOOGLE CHAT).  Colin, the sexy, black, Toyota Sequoia, has a tire pressure light that won't go off, no matter how much or little air I put into his tires, so I have to drive one of the shop's trucks while it's fixed, which is a Jeep - SO fun in the summer, not so much when it's winter- and THEN the refrigerator starts making shuddering noises reminiscent of the POS that I'm currently sitting next to.

And the washer is cranky, too.  He's been coughing and spitting for months.  (I'm wondering if I can wrangle a new front loader when we move... ) I swear, if the T.V. goes south, you'll hear the scream from wherever you are.

But Rick Springfield is about to be on Regis and Kelly, so maybe everything will be okay.  Plus, if all that is the worst thing in my life, my life is pretty darned awesome, I think.
  • Minutes spent stressing out that I can't sing and therefore shouldn't bother auditioning - 4, 879
  • First time I saw Into the Woods with Bernadette Peters - 1991
  • Years of wanting to play 'Little Red Riding Hood' - 16
  • Audition songs that don't go outside of my range - 2 (If you count Happy Birthday...which I don't.)
  • Minutes rehearsing said song in front of the mirror at home - 8, 453, 622
  • Pounds to lose before Monday - 25 (HA!)
  • Hours spent tearing up my closet to find something that is appropriate - 3.5
  • Outfits tried on and thrown away in disgust - 12
  • Minutes lamenting the 10 lbs. I've gained over the summer - 697
  • Hours on the phone with Janice (who played the witch 12 years ago) to make sure I could do this  - 1.5
  • Emails to Jeffzilla (who wants to play Jack) - 1
  • Days left until audition - 6

Edit:  Here's the song.  Apologies to Irving Berlin.  http://dracoandginny.com/persephone33/auditionsong.mp3

I've really only wanted a part this badly ONCE before.  It did not go well, as I still have not played Maggie in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.  Good thoughts, huh, f-list?  I'm not usually needy, but the good vibes will go a LOOOOONG way.

 
.

Profile

persephone33: (Default)
persephone33

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Powered by Dreamwidth Studios

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags