persephone33

Crappy: My dad and aunt aren't coming to see me this weekend.

Crappier: My granny's in the hospital.

Good: I have a very clean house.

Better: Nolan and I are booked with hotel and airfare for a trip to NYC 11/9-14

Crappy: Absolutely no one showed up for church home group tonight.

Good: I'm having an after party for the cast and crew on Friday night.

Okay: I have a morning full of errands tomorrow morning.

Better: I've written something like 10 scenes in the past week.

Even Better: I have a fun idea for my class tomorrow.

Best: Nolan and I had a great night alone tonight.

Great: There are four more performances of 'Whorehouse.'

Fantastic: The kids' report cards were fantastic.

It all evens out, folks. It all evens out.

"I must learn to love the fool in me--the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries. It alone protects me against that utterly self-controlled, masterful tyrant whom I also harbor and who would rob me of human aliveness, humility, and dignity but for my fool."

-- Theodore I. Rubin, MD

"Sometimes it's difficult to be alive, you know? Just to try to function.  There are all these people to deal with.  I used to find it difficult to leave the house because of them.  People, I mean."   - Laughing Wild, by Christopher Durang

That line's been running through my head on a loop for the last week. It was from a monologue cutting I did for a scholarship audition, years ago.  It's funny how these thing com back at weird times.

Random thoughts:

*My attention to detail is not good.  This used to bother me, but it simply does not anymore.  If you have to fix my mistakes, try to do so without making me feel stupid.  Or talking to me about it at all.  And I'll do the same for you.

*Conflict cripples me.  I cannot function in the midst of a fight.  My instinct is to withdraw.  The fact that I say nothing does not mean that I agree or disagree, for that matter.

*Because I choose to be silent does not, in fact, make me weak.  I think to refrain from speaking is one of the hardest things in the world to do.

*I love Lego Star Wars with every fiber of my being.  That game has united my children, forcing them to WORK TOGETHER.  The planets must've aligned just right.  I don't understand why Indiana Jones shows up, but I love it all the same.

*blueberry muffins soothe a lot of pain.

*I'm grateful for friends.

*one of my favorite things is going for a walk with my dog.  She's so excited.  And joyful while we're out.  And grateful.  Of course, she's grateful to get back on the couch when we get back, as well.

*I love writing.  I'd become disillusioned with it in the past three years or so, but my love for it is back.  I'm inspired.  So YAY.

* And because I can, and really enjoyed this the last time I did it::

For the first five people that reply to me and re-post this challenge, I will send you something. It might be something I've made, or something cool from my hidden stash, it might be a mix CD, or a rubber duck, a book I think you will enjoy, or something else that is awesome. Whatever it is, I promise that I will get it to you in 30 days or fewer. (Or as long as it takes.:)) The only thing you need to do in order to participate is to be one of the first five to reply to this, AND post this very same thing on YOUR LiveJournal - cause it's fun to give people stuff. (Please read all the comments because I'll be replying to people, and this will make my comment numbers jump up.)  

If I don't already have your address, (and why not?  I'm not a stalker!) you can send it to persephone3333@gmail.com.  :)

Being an actress is transitory.  Theatre is a transitory art.  Like building sculptures out of snow...  they're beautiful while they last, but you know inevitably, they'll come to an end, and melt away.  Theatre is psychologically cruel, as well.  You spend 6-7 weeks building relationships with a group of people, a family.  You see these people every day.  You depend on them and come to love them, as individuals, and as a group, too.  Then, one day, you get your final applause for the character that you've slaved over, created from scratch, you gather all the things in the dressing room that has been your home away from home, you tear down the set on which you've spent so much time, and you never again see that exact group of people together.  It's sad, for me, today, to realize that.  So I'm a little maudlin and teary.  Just a little though, because the next group of people will mean just as much, I'm sure.  I'm not the kind of person who puts walls around her heart just so she won't get hurt.  To have loved that group of people for that amount of time will always be special, and I'll keep little mental snapshots of talking in the dressing room, blushing at something overheard in the men's dressing room, sprinting across backstage in three inch heels to avoid missing  a scene change, the cat calls and wolf whistles from an unexpected source when I tried on the LBDFH, getting a hug and a kiss on the head from a fellow cast member, having my director tell me that I deserved all the applause I was given and more.  It was good.  It was more than that, actually,  It was great.  I found new friends and strengthened old relationships, and even found a kindred spirit in a newfound activity that I find pleasing (like I need another hobby). 

Speaking of hobbies, I posted chapter eight of Strength,Chance or Fate at D&G.com this morning.  Such a guilty pleasure.  I'm up to chapter eighteen in my longhand, now, and just wait for the betas to send things back.  It's fun.

It appears as if I'm going to Dallas by myself this week.  I was going to take the four year old, but hubby decided that he wanted to keep him here, they're evidently going to have a boys week...  it's going to be "Lord of the Flies" up in my house...  everyone running about in their boxers and the one with the conch shell will be in charge.  Hopefully hubby will keep hold of it.  I doubt it, though.

Things I'm most certainly not irritated about:

1.  That my children wake up at the crack of bleeding dawn on Sunday.
2.  That in the 4 hours that I've been awake I have picked up the throw pillows for the couch no less than 7 times.
3.  That the dog tracked mud onto the freshly mopped floors.
4.  That children let in said dog.
5.  That hubby is off shooting something (birds? bambi? - somthing that hasn't done anything to warrant it) and isn't here to deal with any of this.
6.  That I have done not one bit of Christmas shopping... Not.  One.  Bit.
7.  That 4 year old's marker bled through onto cover of collectible book he was using as a desk.
8.  That I have to go to the grocery store today, as we are yet again out of the basic elements of food.
9.  That Wal-Mart (*shudders*) is also looming in my immediate future.
10.  That children and dog just scattered the pile of dirt and dried mud that I just swept up before I could get the dustpan.

No.  Not irritated at all. *forces pleasant smile/tone of voice*

Does the almighty Flist have any movie reccommendations?  I'm going to update my Netflix queue today and the last couple that we've received have been REAL stinkers.  Old, current, happy,sad doesn't matter...  just good.

Having soooo much fun reading the exchange fics!  Working on a few presents of my own....